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Saturday, April 06, 2002
BLOG, THE FINAL FRONTIER... I hope y'all have noticed I'm pioneering ever-higher levels of bloggish self-referentialishness. Linking to other bloggers' posts about myself! Shall we call it ... ego-linking? Whew! Have I jumped on this bandwagon, or what?
posted by a beam 8:30 PM
GIDDY-AS-A-SCHOOLGIRL HOME NEWS: Cool! E-mails and/or links from Welch, Layne, Instantman, Treacher, Blair (whom I briefly forgot to credit with the Newsweek thing)! I ain't been this excited since I saw Loni Anderson and Joan Rivers in one beautiful Manhattan day!
posted by a beam 6:42 PM
GET YOUR ANAGRAMS ON: From Jim Treacher: Alex Beam=Axe Ma Bel!
posted by a beam 6:02 PM
FROM THE PAUL BEGALA AWARDS BANQUET DRINK MENU: Oh, Mr. Sullivan, if you're reading, congratulations. And if you're still casting about for your weekly Clinton-bashing story, begin here. You're welcome.
posted by a beam 5:54 PM
SCORE! This is more like it! The dirt is starting to roll in! The lovely Catherine Seipp tells cowboyman Matt Welch the real Mickey Kaus scoop:
"Mickey is my ex-husband, I actually just got married to Andrew Sullivan, and we're planning to adopt..."
Though I guess that blows my theory about all the sexual tension between Sullivan and Eric Alterman. And sources tell me Kaus and Bjorn Staerk were united in a tasteful Stalinist ceremony last weekend. And you can FACT CHECK my ass on that, folks!

posted by a beam 5:44 PM
DAMN. Last time I hire a fact checker from Newsweek.
posted by a beam 5:34 PM
AM I the only one to notice that an anagram for Boston Globe is Toe Snob Blog? Somebody register that name! Many hits from some, um, interesting folks await you!

posted by a beam 11:16 AM
LET'S START with a rundown of a few players:

MATT WELCH: He of the cowboy hat. Went to college (or, well, at least visited occasionally) at UC Santa Barbara with half the known blogiverse. Lives in L.A. Married to a French journaliste/bloggeur whose name is even sexy for chrissakes (although maybe that just means too much late-night cable for me). Spent most of the '90s doing kick-ass, drunken journalism in Eastern Europe. (Note to self: In next life, screw college, do that, you idiot!) Will do backup singing on your album for wine. Writing a book.

REV. TONY PIERCE: He is so money, man! Single dude in his 30s livin' it up with Mariah and the beautiful babies in L.A. If you're a straight guy with a pulse, this man has the life you want. One of the UCSB mafia and a whiz with the Photoshop. Secret-agent crime-fighter with the FBI, or something. Car-less, but anybody who can tie together the birthday of Angus Young and the Resurrection of Our Lord up into such a brilliant little package deserves to ride in a Snoop DeVille in style. Go read this and hit the tip jar, NOW, dammit!

KEN LAYNE: Lives in ... (wait for it) ... L.A.! Welch's best bud. He's originally from N'Awlins and spent his share of time kicking around the dirty capitals of Eastern Europe as well. Writes from a hut of dubious construction and wiring in his backyard. Married. Wife has some kind of a real job, he watches cable news at ungodly hours and goes to sleep at dawn. And writes viciously funny stuff. Has one book, published only in Australia. Working on the second, this one destined solely for the Indian subcontinent.

INSTAPUNDIT: Glenn Reynolds. Law professor at UTennessee (nowhere near L.A.), family man, music producer, left-wing conservolibertarian gun nut, mad scientist who has discovered the secret to getting 48 hours out of every day. Doubtless he could whip a killer electro-synth-house-country-blues mix of "Rocky Top" without more than a 10 minute gap between postings.

MEDIA MINDER: Identity undetermined. Copy editor at a large daily newspaper. I have my suspicions, but I won't go public with my dossier of collected evidence (large quantities of small, unmarked bills is my only request). Hikes a lot. Reads a lot. Has a girlfriend, visits her parents (such a nice boy!) He says, regularly, that the Last Page woman is a "hottie."

LAST PAGE: Also undetermined. Works IT for a big newspaper company. Got to go to the Winter Olympics. Likes to use the word "panties" and drops salacious hints about writing porn. Gets regular e-mail marriage proposals. Saw the attack on the Pentagon and is now working through her white-hot-heat-of-a-thousand-suns rage at l'idiot francais who says it didn't happen. Has a boyfriend. She says, regularly, that the Media Minder is a "hottie." Hmmmmmmmmm.

LITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS: Charles Johnson. Web design guy in (God, where else?) L.A. Also a real-honest-to-Jeebus musician. Actually played with people like Al Jarreau! Cyclist. Has a sweet purple Trek nearly as beautiful as your correspondent's DeRosa. Took a lot of photos in Norway in 1997. Having problems with a tooth lately. Whatthehell's a "little green football?" 'Fess up Charles!

ANDREW SULLIVAN: Washington, D.C., Provincetown and every-damn-where Paul Krugman and Katha Pollitt look! Boyfriend. Buff. British accent, sometimes. Had bad relations with a tuna sandwich, not long ago, which irritated the Boston Globe. Also, has a newly renovated toilet. Has decided to give Shakespeare a bit of a go. In a college, involved in a theater situation with Elisabeth Shue and NPR's Peter Sagal in which somebody had to grease down somebody else's torso. Pictures would be most appreciated.

TIM BLAIR: Layne's antipodean bud. Probably would live in L.A. if he weren't a bleedin' Australian. Fiancee. Likes cars. Fast ones. Regular torturer of Aussie lib-nuts and chronicler of the personal lives of Australian football stars. His snickers annoy limp cigarette smoker Justin Raimondo.

JAMES LILEKS: Family man, Strib columnist, writer of books. Has wife (lawyer), dog (Jasper), daughter (Natalie; if you are not charmed by this, you are a cretin with a capital "F") and cranky old house. Uses words like "fargin'" and "Jeebus" with satisfying regularity. A writer the likes of which makes the rest of us weep. Sort of a Dave Barry-with-an-edge. But funny. Tends toward screedishness, thank Jeebus. Stands on the cliff in the dark with his I-Pod and conducts the crickets.

THE RABBIT: Heather Havrilesky. Single (don't call her lovely!) gal in (noooooooooo!) L.A. Best domain name in all of internetdom. Rough breakup not long ago. Writes tasty, smart pellets of poetry, prose and advice. Flays the self-absorbed, comforts the afflicted. From North Carolina. Worked for the late, lamented Suck.com. Is in a band, apparently. Gets herself in Salon and NPR. Again, like the rest of L.A., writing a book.

KAUSFILES: Mickey Kaus. L.A. (sigh) Has something to do with that Slate thing. Reads boring newspaper series so we don't have to! 'Bout all we know. C'mon, Mick! Basta with all the welfare stuff! What's the state of the household plumbing? [UPDATE: OK, OK. I don't know why I thought Kaus and Cathy Seipp were united in connubial bliss. I guess they're not. I blame Linse's breathless blogparty report. But maybe they should be! You're not getting any younger, you know! Anyways, the Boston Globe regrets the error.]

USS CLUELESS: Steven Den Beste. Single, retired and living in San Diego. Frighteningly smart.

SAMIZDATA: Many bespectacled British Libertarian dudes. And one hot Croatian babe.

TSAR: Not bloggers, but the La-la bloggers' house band.

UNABLOGGER: Uknown horny dude.

BJORN STAERK: Norwegian.

posted by a beam 12:39 AM
Friday, April 05, 2002
HEY, Whatever happen to the first two BlogWatches, anyways? Haven't seen 'em in a while. Slackers.
posted by a beam 4:17 PM
WHAT THE... Yeah, yeah. Everybody's bloggin' about Deep Stuff. Afghanistan blah blah airports blah blah Israel blah blah guns blah Ashcroft blah terrorists blah. But who are these people? Where do they live? Are they married? Single? Looking? Are they free Saturday night? How much do the L.A. bloggers spend on booze and tacos on an average weekend? What galaxy is Instantman from? What did Sully have for dinner? Did he keep it down? And how does freakin' DenBeste know so damn much? What we need is somebody to watch all this. Somebody to comb the net and alert the masses to the small, yet revealing, personal touches we find in Blogland (Blogistan, blogosphere, blogworld, can't we find a better name?). So, I inaugurate BlogWatch III: This Time it's Personal.
posted by a beam 3:44 PM
OK, OK, OK. You were right. And you were right. And so were you. And you and you and you. You were also right, but, shall we say, rained on the parade. You were a little bit right, but not as right as you.

Blogs are cool. Blogs are great. I can talk about my kitty! And my tuna sandwich adventures!

And so, let there be light.

posted by a beam 2:15 PM